Let's Wax Lyrical

Photoless Photo Whore

2007-06-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

Its really depressing how I've got loadsa overdued pictures but I can't upload them for my own viewing pleasure haha.

I've since got hair extensions and permed my hair, and at if that's not enough, I've donned some eyelash extensions too and got more acrylic nails. Haha, vainty is like a woman's alter ego.

I've since got a new Nokia phone thats not pink and that pissed the hell outta me but all pink phones in the mkt now are lame lame lame.

I've since been working late late late and oh dear lord, how can you work a woman so hard?

I've since fallen in love with Nelly Furtado's "Give it to me".. the Ah-lian in me in surfacing.

Krabi for beach, London and Geneva for work, whisk me away!

The Disappearing Act

2007-04-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

I would love to post all the pictures I've amassed since my hiatus but my laptop doesn't seem keen to read my memory card. Annoying.

My brand new blush pink Sony Vaio!

well, but its not that good really.. been the reason of my hair loss. haha

I've also lost my LG Chocolate phone with my dear dear dior charm. Oh my gawd. May the asshole who swiped my phone get a major pimple outbreak for 1 year.

Pls be nice and text me your numbers, dear friends who are bored enough to read this blog. zzz

Charity Day

2007-01-05T13:43:00.000+08:00

Finally.. Charity Day where all the earnings for the day were donated to charity..

Fann Wong and Gurmit Singh invited for guests appearances.. bahh..pointless

Little Red Indian girl and the Mexican

Baldy Gurmit

The cowboys

Shanghai Night

2007-01-05T13:22:00.000+08:00

Next up.. my company's dinner and dance

Theme: Shanghai night

was lame but enough to make me scramble around for a proper cheongsam

half of my team

Almost everyone ended up drunk..

Backdated Pictures Galore

2007-01-05T12:55:00.000+08:00

Pictures relegate words to the ranks of the redundant.. I shall cut the crap and post all my outdated pictures then..

In sequence of events:

Halloween!!

We hit butter factory.. MOS and finally Zouk.. completely maxed out all energy we had..

Back for now

2006-12-30T11:15:00.000+08:00

I have been absent from this space for eons.. and back with a heavy heart..

so many unposted pictures of fun and glee but all a facade..

confronted with too many changes suddenly it's traumatising..

with no shao now to fall back on....

happy new year.

Romanticize

2006-10-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

Shao's out till next Wed and I'm bored outta my wits now..

It's really queer how I embarked on this blog as a feeble attempt of retaliation.. a means to channel my angst and misery... but it has gradually shed its melancholic persona and morphed into a cheerier pictures galore.

I had a random thought today and wondered what the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me is..

"Here I am drinking with my friends and half the time I'm wondering what Grizelda is doing.."

I shared this with Shao and he thinks I'm a sucker.. haha..

Was fiddling with the sister's phone and damn my chocolate phone which doesnt have the collage feature!

I'm a sucker for alot of stuff and pictures are one of the lot.

One of the few things girls do when they're bored, besides to shop, would be to take more pictures!

Project Runway

2006-10-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

Its been 6 mths since I last did a show and I'm getting all rusty from it... The last was Singapore Fashion Fest and now the prelude to the fashion week... ooh I love the avant garde clothes and make up!

I screwed up the sequence and I was nearly peeing in my pants cos Zaki, the chereographer can be the biggest bitch in the world. haha.

Less words and more visual pleasures then...

My gorgeous model mates... Jenn, Jolin and Natalia from Ukraine

I love the feathers on my face!

I want Ashley's green lashes!

She's 18, from China, 182cm and totally GORGEOUS!

After show in the ladies with Gin

The models for the show

Expaty Attica

2006-10-06T00:43:00.000+08:00

It was club hopping night...from New Asia to China One to Attica...all expaty places... eeeewww ...but mostly spent at Attica.

I've always shunned Attica cos it's way too expaty to my liking.

In an unfortunate twist of events, I succumbed to peer pressure and hit the ang moh clubs with my ang moh colleagues and a couple of friends...

It was easy breezy entrance for Sere and I... the bouncer was all pally with us.. weirdo

Feast your eyes!

Serena and I

Sere, Gary, me, half of Eddie

I can't quite rem the name of the dude whom I have my arm around.. Gary's cuzzie I think

Griz and Dave and some weird dude in the background

Dont they look cute together...awww..

My fave photo for the night! Awfully cute!

Party Time!

2006-09-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

Groove Armada was in town spinning at Zouk.. The crowd was insanely huge, and almost disgusting haha..

I meticulously curled my hair for an hour in anticipation of Groove Armada; the usual hairdo just isnt working any magic on me.. Who knows our eyes might meet while they're spinning and its bye bye Shao and hello London! haha!

Glen got kinda sloshed and bought both Shao and I a drink each.. How rare...

The dearest best friend and I

Thanks for making me look better, guys. Haha!

Shao was really knackered it seems

Dapeng was bushed as well

It's off to KL the next morning where the real party begins!!!

I have to admit I wasnt too keen on the trip initially.. I was miffed by the travel time and oh well.. I felt it would be hell boring. But hey I'm gonna eat my words now...

Hello KL!

On the tube.. ok train

Dinner at some famous King Crab place.. YUMS!

I realised I didnt take any pictures of our suite.. It was pretty nice, with a good location to boot, The Ascott. The bar at the hotel has a rather lameass name -- sevenatenine, but nonetheless it was uber chill..

Sevenatenine

The girls who travelled with us.. and I had no clue I have a cleavage! wahaha!

The name sucks, but the place redeemed itself

It's off to Zouk KL after chilling!

The hot babes we partied with

Pearl's such a doll

Everything was going really fine then zouk got raided!!! mailto:^&#@$%&()*&(^#

Bummer!! We lost our bottles of vodka, chivas and champagne in the process..

So we decided to adjourn to Cynna! This other pretty hip place and I like the music there alot better then Velvet KL actually

Check out that snogging couple!

How we love partying with babes

Before we check out.. a few snapshots of the facade of the hotel

It's so long KL.. toodles!

The Clones and their Spouses

2006-09-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

It was a farewell-for-now dinner for Zhuang who's gonna be off to Stanford for his masters..

The triplets couldn't do without their Earl Grey and desserts so we decided to hit this cafe after dinner..

I think it's really funny when the three clones and their girlfriends take the street together.. I couldnt let this picture perfect moment slip by

Cheez!

I'm really gutted that the photo whore in me was dying to surface and I let it get the better of me and blocked Shao's face in the process! Argh! I'm an idiot...

An otherwise perfect picture of bliss...

Golden 10 Years

2006-09-10T12:06:00.000+08:00

The Crezzies decided that the 10th yr of our friendship seems significant enough for a Girls-all-night-boozing Party..

Queer thing was no one was actually game enough to down the alcohol and the Chivas went home unscathed...bummer...

It was fun nonetheless.. the girly-talks, gifts exchange, reminiscing of our teenage days..

The prezzies!!!

First up.. my prezzies for the girls.. thongs!

Yingying made Cookies in a cute jar

Wendy's girly namecard holders

Jenn bought us our birthday teddies

One of the most admirable efforts.. Meixing's cross stitches

Bling bling keychains...Yeli

Meiying's Cushions were put to good use

It's down memory lane for Gigi with the five stones

Au Naturel for us all! Yikes!

ZZZzzz... The sloths

He seeks Redress

2006-09-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

I came across a disturbing comment criticising Shao's looks...

Pictures don't do him justice and I can attest to that..

My apologies to Shao for posting unflattering pictures of him..

Though I hate it when he cuts his hair awfully short....hahaha

Stop cutting your hair at your whim and fancy!

I disgress.....

The brother's finally coming home from his 6 week long trip... We miss him! Let's hope there're prezzies.

Siblings night out

Awwww....

Paul Smith for Him

2006-09-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

This entry must speak volumes about my boredom.

Shao is unavailable... Boring...

My most recent shopping cart must include a pair of cufflinks for him. He digs Paul Smith and I totally second that.

Classic Paul Smith StripesShao's Greatest Love, Naked Women

Yet another Signature Stripes
My Fave!

The New Horizon

2006-09-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

I've since started work at the new place and it has been fun thus far...

The fine wines and palates fit for royalties.. 1500 bucks caviar, 21 yrs old vintage wine, extravagant lunches ... loving every bit of it.

The weight I've probably piled on these weeks, the long hours required... hating every bit of it.

Was just going through old photos and found this with me perched on the window, in a feeble attempt of suicide, a vivid expression of my exasperation with the world.. hahaha..

Farewell, Ugly world

As promised, I've decided to post photos of Shao's ball for Eric, my ex-colleague in HK.

I'm really sought after eh?

Ephemeral Dates

Yes I'm a photo whore, but my Shao looks like delicious wallapaper..Yums!

One for my man

Woman of Leisure

2006-08-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

My week vacation whizzed by in a flash and I did almost nothing.. I reckon I'm not cut out for the life of a tai-tai, sans the sleeping in till 10am every morning, the days have morphed into pointless time slipping from me. Meaningless....

As we speak, the Fendi B is finally lying all safe on my bed... yippee!

Now for more bags in my shopping cart, presenting Miu Miu Fall/Winter 2006... In order of preference..

Quilted Leather Hobo

Oversized Leather Tote

Calfskin Leather Satchel

Soft Frame Leather

I'll be glad with just anyone of these babies...next month!

Revived and Recharged

2006-07-21T16:03:00.000+08:00

Before I embark on the new phase of my life... and I dont mean getting hitched or that I'm preggers...

I'm gonna go through a few changes..

I am going to....

1. Dye my hair red... lindsay lohan red!

2. Start hitting the gym and get my wash board abs!

3. Get anti-aging products.. I'm getting the lines..

4. Patiently await the arrival of my Fendi B bag in the post.. ehh..not too patiently actually

5. Start a peugeot 307cc fund. hahahaha!

6. Save $$$...haha virtually impossible.

Against All Odds

2006-07-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

This is the moment I should document..

My resignation has finally been accepted and it is with a heavy heart that I tendered it. The boss's efforts to get me to reconsider did not end up in me rescinding that letter.

I am fully aware that I gave up a good job. A highly coveted job that everyone wants to snag.

It was a decision made against all odds... with everyone's disapproval, discouragement, and God's will.

God's will because I went to the temple this morning and got a divination lot.

A lot that told me not to make a reckless move and that luck will embrace me in the future. A lot that told me to wait.

I couldn't understand all that hype about investment banking except for the money maybe. I might understand it in time to come when all my ex-colleagues get their big fat bonus of a whopping 100 grand or more..

I feel like shit now.. argh!

Grouchy

2006-06-29T06:33:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling really grouchy now so I shall forgive myself for being a bitch..

I've never tasted shit but I guess we can very safely assume that it sure doesn't taste good.

I've tasted foie gras but am personally not a fan of it... it's in a class of its own so lets just say it appeals to a niche market, thus sensibly high class..

soooo.....

If you've been nice to me and I like you, eat foie gras
If you've been evil to me and I dislike you, eat shit

and shao has to eat shit today cos he's had too much foie gras.
*pout*

everybody eat shit cos I'm grouchy!!!!!!!

Mugger Not

2006-06-10T04:08:00.000+08:00

When the need to study arises, I tend to do everything but study. Sigh... I'm screwed for my Tuesday paper.

Current Fave Song: Boston, by Augustana

"She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,I think I'll start it over,
where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...Boston...
where no one knows my name..."

I felt like that at one point of my life. A time when all I wanted was to disappear from the face of the earth.

But...

You came along and told me things aint that bad.
You never coerced an apology outta me
You never lost your temper at me, never once raised your voice at me
Even when I'm probably the most unresonable bitch in this world...

If there's only one person in this world I could trust my life with, it would be you.

Yes it's you...Thank you. (even though u totally omitted me in your thank you speech. *pout*)

Whisper a Quiet Tune

2006-05-19T06:43:00.000+08:00

I'm breaking the silence held for a month..

I've been crazily buried in work and all sorts of miscellaneous stuff.. I'm taking a breather now I don't care what Shao says... I'm just done with a paper so gimme a break darling!

So it seems like I woke at 6 this morning to blog.. haha. The original plan was definitely to take a quick look at the markets and start thinking of how to formulate my commentary. I just realised the researchers held the same view of a bearish market yesterday! But somehow the movement was positive. Shit, so much for our credibility. I think I suck at my job.

Shao clinched the Sword of Honour, the equivalent of first class honours just that there's only one holder to this. Good job my cutesy little magma cum laude...hee hee hee

I've got like shitloads of photos but I'm simply too lazy to do so....

Blah!

2006-04-13T00:29:00.000+08:00

I shall be really blah again while waiting for stupid Shao to ring me. The minister mentor is seemingly more appealing as he insists on watching the repeat telecast of the MM's session with the under 30s, who are a bunch of idiots who spent most of the time stuttering..

One guy politely suggested that the MM to take a hike from politics... while another gently remarked that PAP is high-handed.. haha... should I add that they looked afraid, sure they dont wanna be the next bankrupt.

I shall disgress...
The BBQ last Sat was good.. largely due to the kick out of making the guys pose with flowers in their hair.

Pretty Lady Boys

Gorgeous Beauty Queens

We love being photo whores

Russian Lunch at Kalinka Malinka

Lunch was quite a bummer except for the main course. The lean mean Beef Shashlik and Beef Stroganoff, awesome.

The Beef Stroganoff was amazingly rich and creamy

Nothing can be better than Shao's Beef Shashlik

Freeze your brains then warm it up with Vodka

Frostbitten

One more meaningless picture of mine.... Jamaican Reggae Bitch!

Signing out.... ZZZzzzzzzz

Delivered as Promised

2006-04-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to be reading my swaps notes but argh, whatever. I shall proceed to be really blah.

Crezzies having dinner in celebration of Meixing's 24th.

The girls are close to bludgeoning me to death for the lack of photos last time round at Indochine.

I look like total shit in this one but I shall be steadfast in fulfilling the promise of posting the picture.

Wah lau I really look damn bad.....shitass

Forever young

2006-04-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

The bed is beckoning me as I contemplate if I should proceed to pen this post. I decide that the burning fervour to get this off my chest largely exceeds any other desires that are seemingly wanton in comparison.

I THINK AGE IS CATCHING UP WITH ME...

It's scarier than an epiphany, hits one harder than a sudden revelation.. It screams at you when all your friends talk about now during gatherings is work, they suggest which savings or investment plan you should get, when to get hitched, what anti-wrinkle cream to use!

As if it's not bad enough, you find out your secondary school friend is a mother of one kid, you bump into your university mate who's preggers, your sister's tuition teacher(who is your age) passes you his wedding invitation, your college mate buys a house in anticipation of marriage with his long-time girlfriend...

All these when all I think about is if I should get that dress which looks like what Sienna Miller wore to the Oscars; if I should blow a few grand on a Dior Gaucho; which movie I should catch; where I should head for high tea.. frivolous frivolous frivolous...

I wish I'm still a teenager.. sans the fat physique and the pimples and life will be wonderful.

Beseiged by a sense of helplessness

2006-03-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

I can't help but miss him so much.
I see him every week but it just aint enough.
It's suffocating so I scream I jump I frown.
I snarl at him and he smiles.
Nothing fazes my lil Zaishao.

I wish he could teleport..
so he could be at my beck and call
hahahaha...

Grizelda's School of Fashion

2006-03-10T01:10:00.000+08:00

I've decided to take a stab at designing. Fashion.

Fashion, Mannequins and Models are synonymously linked.

Presenting my male model, Cheng Zaishao!

Black T-shirt with diamantes and beads, price unavailable, Grizzle-fanfare.

Grey Bermudas, model's own

The Spring/Summer '06 collection (fine! ok its just one but it'll grow!).

Photography Grizelda Lee Styling Cheng Zaishao Makeup Au Naturel Hair Cheng Zaishao Outfit Grizzle-fanfare Model Cheng Zaishao Text Grizelda Lee

Yummy Guys

2006-03-03T16:01:00.000+08:00

Guys are sexy when....

they've got a sharp nose.. sex appeal rockets through the clouds!
they're left-handers. I just realised today I have a penchant for guys who write with their left!
they're in suits.. men with stature never fail to appeal
they've got little stubbles growing at the chin..
they struggle with a language which isn't exactly their forte, with the exception of English of course.
they've got a taut torso. A total classic isnt it.
they're a summa cum laude, or a magna cum laude...woohoo..
they wear watches. I dig guys who wear watches.
they smell good. A whiff of cologne is the way to go..
they wear boxers

8/10 of the above criteria will qualify a guy as sexy. In my books of cos.

Hence, I conclude that I think Shao is sexy!

Comfortable

2006-03-03T10:24:00.000+08:00

My current fave...melancholic with a tinge of sweetness
If I could write a song, I would pen something like this.

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us, if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
though i'm sure you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say 'shes gonna be good for you
'they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that shes faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.

2006-02-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

本来不觉得你特别疼我直到你不再疼爱我以后

This is the only sentence I know out of this whole song. Sad sad sappy-out-of-love song.
I like it cos it makes so much sense.

My Wish List

2006-02-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

I Wish.....

There are soooo many things in this world I want.. the desire is insatiable. It's a bottomless pit.
I wish... I wish....

I won the freaking 10 million dollar hong bao draw and that I'm the SOLE winner. KACHING!!!! $$$$$$
I have uber long lashes and they've got to be real. See picture below.
Good eyelash glues had better be in stock soon. You losers with short lashes stop using fake lashes! hee hee hee.... *blush*
My boyfriend has a bigger head/face than me. See picture below. Haha.

** In the event that his head/face is smaller than yours and to prevent yourself from looking fatter than you already are, coerce him to move his head/face towards the camera whilst u, without further ado, move backwards for a more flattering snapshot. See picture above for a negative demonstration.

5. I'm thinner. I need to shed the pounds man. Argh.

6. I can eat and eat and stuff my face till I explode and not grow fat.

7. I don't have to work. I conclude: I LOVE TO BUM.

8. Go Prague and tour Europe with Shao soon!

9. There're more public holidays on the Calendar.

10. Shao can be with me all day and night.

The Hiatus

2006-02-16T17:55:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I left my words on this blog. Approximately 2 months. No noteworthy occurences I suppose. I havent been particularly upset enough to prompt an entry, neither have I been flushed by euphoria. Bland Life.....

A new member in the family! That's Tubbee, the cutesy little jack russell poochie.

Tubbee sounds like a rather silly name but hey it's not without a reason. My bro wouldnt stop calling him puppy for a good while and in order not to confuse that lil thing, I cleverly altered it to a similar sounding "Tubbee". How ingenius! ha! Sure beats my neighbour's Golden retriever "Nancy"!

I think I'm feeling under the weather now.. could be due to work. I'm increasingly feeling like I dont know what I'm doing with my life. I'm unsure if I'm cut out for what I'm doing. I think I prefer bumming. Sigh. This girl at work makes me roll my eyes at times with the stuff she says to clients, freaking acting all pally. urgh.

There are just so many things I wish I could say, so many people I wish I could lash out at. Fucking emotional labour. I'm damn pent up I need to kill someone.

I suppose this qualifies as being upset enough to prompt an entry.

And So He Tried

2005-12-30T15:49:00.000+08:00

WhY dO pEoPLe tYpe LikE thIs? tHis Is wHaT Ah-LiAnS aNd aH-bEngS dO IsN'T it?

Which brings me.. some people are just major oddballs. Social deviants I'd say.. Perhaps there are enough out there to form a little community. Why else do I always get friendster messages which will blatantly put the author in an undignified light? The message below was sent to me by someone recently, grossed me out enough to prompt this post.. I'm utterly sorry to you mister, but please, do note that ah-lians are much more susceptible to such stunts.

"HI zelda ;)

I am trying to expand my network of friends
And i just come across your profile and find u quite interesting;)keke
so hope that I can get to know u better!
Well perhaps I shall give a self intro about myself so u can know me better ;)

Name: XXX
Age : 27
Currently I am self employed, running a tuition business.>
My pastimes are singing,watching movies,swimming , table tennis and Chinese chess.
I love investing in the stock market and occasionally i also goes to pubs to chill out for a drink with my friends. What about you?
Hmm.. do u have MSN? Mine XXX@hotmail.com
Perhaps I can add u. And can we exchange hp no?"

My Reply:

"Hi XXX,

I am utterly sickened by you calling me zelda cos I don't even know you, so please refrain from acting all pally with me by giving me a moniker. and did anyone tell u it's extremely un-macho to type stuff like "keke". Seriously, what emotion were you trying to display?

So you think telling me you run your own business and you loving investments will gain u brownie points? Next time, say you're an oil tycoon, perhaps that might help. You sound like you're probably one of those who hogs the mic in the karaoke and clamour to belt out a solo at every chance possible, even when it's not your song. You damn hell sound like my loser first boyfriend who'll break out in a sudden song and dance. yuck. So you "also goes to pubs"? hmmm should I reccommend proof reading or grammar lessons?

"Perhaps I can add you". Wrong move again. Shouldn't you be requesting that I add u?"

*Beam* Shao will be so proud of me for being this mean. Hahaha.

Speaking of bad English, hell I'm serious it's repugnant. Watch the grammar guys!
This guy tried chatting me up while I was queueing for my yong tau foo today.

"Did I saw you before? Over here?"
*roll eyes* not another one....sigh. But I was much nicer this time round since he's at my face in the flesh. haha..
"I hope not."
Such a subdued crisp reply. Haha.
*Beam* Shao will be proud of me again. Haha.

Xmas thoughts for my Soul

2005-12-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

Year-End. The dealing room is unusually silent. For once, the Singaporeans outnumber the caucasians. Calls have dwindled. Bored, I can't get any more bored than now. ha.

Because I'm bored, I'm reading blogs. Blogs, certain blogs, have come under intense firing in recent times. Perhaps exaggerated, perhaps totally uncalled for. At least mine isn't, for I guess mine is far less than controversial. It is a simple blog of nothing at all.

I just read the blog of someone whom I used to know. He used to be my best friend, but not anymore. He is now but a stranger, an acquaintance at best. He blogs in riddles, he blogs weird, he is but a walking parody. But that's him, that's what makes him real, unafraid of any flak hurled at him. I used to make him a Christmas card every year, but not this year. Cards are written to give thanks, hence it's become discernible I do not owe this stranger any thanks. Not that he gives a hoot anyway.

I think. I reminsce. I sulk. I regret. NAAAaaaaahh.. the new year's gonna be a total blast, especially with an impending pampering trip to Bangkok with Shao, Zhuang and Gerald. Yippee!

Love Poem for my Saviour

2005-11-21T13:42:00.000+08:00

Hark that name they echoed last summer,
carelessly whispered in such soft murmurs.
He couldn't have missed it,
a name so familier,
for it unveils,
a lass so peculiar.

Faded eyes smothered in flamboyant lights,
he couldn't quite see her, try as he might;
whisky and beer,
a concoction so potent,
robbed him of his senses,
my, was he blatant.

Titillating it was, this could be a game,
when love approach her under friendship's name;
Mediocre,
was how he fared,
now that redemption's up for grabs,
the crux of it all, was if he dared.

Can one forget that sweet, celestial day,
when in his arms, his beloved lay;
their virgin kiss,
under the lamben glow,
excuse her drunken blush,
just take it slow.

He flew and left, a one week hiatus,
how could she have, concealed such sadness.
Line after line,
cooing texts overflowed.
Who would have cared,
the costs that followed.

What scenes appear when she turns her view,
his spellbinding face that she feels and pursue.
A heart so kind,
condoned all her tantrums,
sought to placate,
for he loved a conundrum.

So brilliant a chap, he owe them time.
Ripped them apart, on September five.
She pines and yearns,
sparkle languishing in her eyes,
muttered in her prayer,
that time would fly.

Hark that name they echoed years ago,
so surreal, with two more in tow.
She couldn't have missed it,
a high-flyer so prolific,
for she fell in love,
with a man so dynamic.

Prime at 23

2005-10-22T11:45:00.000+08:00

21st was a flop, 22nd quite the disaster, but 23rd was a good redemption. It's horrihorrihorribly uncanny when one gets particularly jinxed on the birthday. Thank god Shao broke the curse, alright, sorta.

How unfortunate when your 21st party is etched in everyone's mind for the wrong reasons. I suppose FLOP would be an understatement. A friend always says my life is akin to the script of Kindred Spirit. Melodramatic, silly and exaggerated perhaps.

The 22nd was tragic. No short of the drama and tears. What a waste of my time.

23rd was a HUGE improvement. No violence, no tears, no rants and raves. A gazillion well-wishers, 3 cakes, 2 birthday songs. Smiles. I like my prezzies this year too!

An uber sweet handmade card from my sis telling me she loves me. *gag*
An ipod........silicon cover from my bro. haha
A pair of awesome killer heels with the most beautiful silver 4 inch heels, from shao!
A pretty Pink Kate Spade wallet! shao again. He wanted to get me a Gucci one but I didnt wanna look too monogram siao, very ah-lian.
DKNY be delicious perfume.. so sweet -- sere, ed, mike, jm, mh
A 256 MB XD card for my cam, shao. heh
3 gorgeous bouquets of flowers
A monopoly set. haha - kelvin, mao, zhenshi, chee leong
A call from Sweden, glenny dear! Miss you!
A book, Liar's Poker - Calvin
Cold Hard Cash - Mom
An impeccable manicure session from dear Mel!
A vintage Jill Stuart Polka Dotted dress, from myself!
SHAO, I'm sure he will be better than his predecessor.

Ho ho ho... Love my prezzies. Thank you all for the wonders this year!

Starry Eye Surprise

2005-10-06T16:08:00.000+08:00

I set foot on Caldecott Hill yesterday. A much-dreaded godforsaken place, an incubator for twinkling stars. Hmm...

Flagged down a cab. Once the cab driver heard that I was headed for Mediacorp, his instantaneous reaction was to take a second look at me and asked in mandarin:
“You are a star ah?”
Argh. I so expected this.
“Huh, er...., I’m from the crew.”
With this, the gleam in his eyes vanished.
How pragmatic.

There is this bridge I have to take up to main reception and this fat Malay lady who looked like a regular staff was about 10m away. Almost immediately after our eyes met, her eyes rolled like that of a ghost and plonked onto the ground! She left me dumbstruck with that antic and a thousand thoughts ran through my mind.

Heart Attack? Likely, she’s obese. Her arteries are probably clogged.
Palpitations? Did I say she’s fat?
Respiratory problems? The fats were probably squeezing in on her oesophagus.
So all in all, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM BEING FAT.
It’s repulsive and bad for your health.

Well, anyway, being the good Samaritan I’ve always been, I sped towards her in my heels and started shaking her body to check for consciousness. Ah, life-saving lessons put to good use now.

She opened her eyes briefly and muttered,
“Don’t push me...”
Ermm... What the hell, but oh goody, CPR isn’t necessary then!
As I was taught in my lessons to always ask if the casualty is ok, I said with all the concern I can summon.
“Are you okay?”
Oh gosh, and as if I wasn’t already freaked out enough, she went
“I’m dying........”
Well done, what are the odds of an obese person collapsing on the streets? Very high.

So being the good Samaritan I’ve always been again, I sped towards the main reception to seek help. In between breaths, I mustered,
“There’s a lady who has fainted outside!”
Obviously, in situations like such, you would expect immediate attention, but I was unexpectedly greeted with a blase attitude.
Nonchalantly, she said,
“ Oh, that one ah, she’s always like that....”
After some discussion with another receptionist, they decided to call the cops.
Wow. Making a mountain outta a molehill?
The truth unfolds. She’s a more than ardent fan of Jean Danker and has pulled a fast one too many. She feigns unconsciousness just to seek an audience with her idol. She’s probably a looney too. But I suppose that was entertaining.

Masquerade!

2005-09-25T12:39:00.000+08:00

Event: Masquerade Fiesta!!!
Venue: Orchard Road
Attendance: Serena, Yi Jiang, Shuyi, Roy, Grizelda, Edwin and Peibin

Edwin and Peibin were making out in the pagoda

Looking gorgeous before Extreme makeover

Before the transformation begins, we decided to fill our tummies. Miss Serena Tan spilled water on me, not once, not twice, but thrice. TMD, I'll make sure she looks the ugliest. HA!

Sere's disguise was a boisterous, loud mouth, crass auntie. Impeccable.

Peibin made Edwin up as a Pig, looks like the real McCoy.

Largely because he wasted the tax payers' moolah during his week long reservist.
.

Yi Jiang decided that now that he's a civil engineer, he shall worship PCK.
.

Shuyi shall be the dumb blonde, who was easily duped into taking this picture. WAHAHA!

Roy. I just wanna make him ugly. Personal vendetta. HA!

.

I'm the coolest, cos I'm ready to ham it up for the camera. Hee Hee.

If you're wondering why some photos are big and others small, that's cos I'm an IT idiot.

9 years a Journey

2005-09-22T10:30:00.000+08:00

9 seraphic, guileless teenage girls.
1 ridiculous Chinese lesson.
4 malicious villains.
9 years of friends.

Happy 9th year Anniversary!

9 minus 2

Gigi, Meixing, Me

Meiyan, Meiying, Yeli, Wendy

Not so guileless now, not so seraphic now

Without a doubt, still 9 years of friends

WOOHOO!! Finally photos of me!

Fury!

2005-09-14T17:34:00.000+08:00

I'm so cross.
So damn cross.

10 reasons why Blogger.com is spastic.

I can't upload any more pictures than that in the previous entry.
Worse is that there're no pictures of me, not even a freakin' shadow.
The alignment screws up on me, time and time again.
I can't cut and paste MY OWN TEXT! and I'm not even plagiarizing!
Maybe there're only 4 reasons
But I'm blardy lazy to move my cursor up to amend it from 10 to 4
I've got major ice-cream cravings
It's 15 mins before I knock off
This is the epitome of writers' block
WMWM = Whatever your Mother Works at Macdonalds

I think I'm the spastic one. I need help.

WOMAD 2005

2005-08-29T18:07:00.000+08:00

What a blast!! WOMAD was really fun after a 2 year hiatus, with a brand new crowd, accompanied by great food and wine. Kudos to Shao, Muz, Dapeng and Me! for the preparation of such palatable sandwiches and finger food, and for wine so divine.

Muz’s beef filling for the sandwiches was awesome! He actually managed to concoct something that good using his anyhow method. Hmm.. mustard powder, some Japanese soya sauce, an appalling lot of butter, onions, garlic and whisky I think.

Shao was busy chopping away, onions and avocados, which were a tad too hard and were ousted after Shao and Muz’s disapproval.

Shao wept at Muz's house

I deep-fried the finger food, which was such a tedious chore cos’ the oil splattered like mad all over me. The samosas were nicely golden brown, so were the otak rolls, which tasted uncannily like sweet potatoes. They were definitely nowhere near chao ta, contrary to Muz’s accusation.

Dapeng just skived and hoped to get wasted.
“I get drunk for health reasons.”
“Stop shitting me.”
“ So that mosquitoes wont bite me”
Apparently mosquitoes are repulsed by traces of

alcohol in blood… hmmm..

Our Spread!

The day was just oh so beautiful.. we were in for a REAL picnic, completed by Muz’s girly picnic basket and red mat, and Shao’s cutesy foam mat. Not to mention the gratifying fillers we had! Muz’s incompetent maid burnt our cheese sausages. Sure I could do better. *Smirk*

The guys, esp Dapeng, were dying to dig in

The first act (Lior from Australia) was pretty chill. His impressive vocals are like a hybrid between that of Jason Mraz *swoon* and Adam Levine of Maroon 5 *swoon*. I made a mistake by telling Shao Maroon 5’s from down under too. *grin*

Check him out:

http://www.lior.com.au/

He’s a bit of the ang-moh gone wrong kind.

After him, there were various retarded acts. Freakin’ wasted my time. Our time.
Silvia: “I think Taliban is performing..”
Terence: “Fuck la, waste my money.”
Linting: “Janice! Janice!”
Dapeng: “ eh come, drink drink.. I come here to get drunk only”
Shao: “My abs damn manly..”
Serena: “How to work this China phone huh..”
Muz: “………...” *stone
Belle and Zhi: MIA
Wallace: “They’re giving out free coke!”

Time for redemption! The finale was a breathtaking splendid performance put up by APACHE INDIAN & THE REGGAE REVOLUTION!!!
They are way way way cool! They rocked the whole fort canning down! Including the very bored buncha of us!

“Boomshackalak” is Apache Indian’s impeccable work of art and he was touring with Sean Paul. Quite a bigwig.

Check him out:
http://www.karmasound.com/

This year’s WOMAD saw the absence of my margaritas, my bongo-bongo burgers, and the shopping at the stalls, but embraced with open arms the wonderful bunch of us, the one helluva picnic, wine and champagne!

Double Thumbs Up!

Meeeoooww....

2005-08-12T11:09:00.000+08:00

If I were a cat, I would be doing some serious thinking.

Why do people like dogs more than cats?
Why the hell do I not sit, when told to sit?
Why do I just love clawing at people’s feet?
Why the hell do I not snag roles like Beethoven, or Willy, or Stewart Little in movies?
Why am I always the evil sidekick in movies?
Why must retarded Sylvester be a cat, and can trampled all over by freakin’ Tweety bird?

If I were Pepper, I would be doing some serious thinking.

Why doesn’t Shao bathe me?
Why the hell do I have to wear the stupid white funnel thingy around my neck?
I think I’ve been drugged.
Why is Dizzy’s hair longer than mine?
Dizzy is one big pompous diva.

If I were Dizzy, I would be doing some serious thinking.

Where’s daddy?
Where’s mommy?
Am I fat?
Do I need a haircut?
Am I male or female?
Pepper looks stupid.

If I were Amber, I would be doing some serious thinking.

Where am I?
Where am I?
Where am I?
Pepper and Dizzy are idiots.

I swear they curse

2005-07-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

Some of our parents were probably hot-blooded angsty young people who cursed like anyone of us now, who perhaps loved Mcdonalds to bits, and clubbed themselves silly every weekend. I suppose most of us are likely parents some 10 years from now, which sets me thinking the type of parents we will end up being.

My mom epitomizes “prim and proper”. She’s every inch the indispensable, responsible mother who’s not quite your stepford wife, but close enough. Okay, sans the delectable bods and suggestive togs, plus a whole load of naggy DNA. With that, the least you’d expect is a profanity that escapes her mouth.

I was jolted outta bed this morning by an ominous presence that seemed far too haunting to ignore. I opened my eyes, and there she was, glaring piercingly at me. She was cross, cos’ it was eight. So awfully late I was. One of the rare times I felt so consumed and stupefied by the trepidation. The fear of being late for work.

“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
Took her no less than 2 seconds to summon a comeback.
“Fuck!” She reacted.
Holy shit. What did my prissy mom just say??!! Why the hell did she echo me? What does it mean when one says “fuck” and another answers with a “fuck”?

You would expect your grandma to be the priestess of decorum. The revered empress dowager. She was clearly immersed in a family game of mahjong, probably emptying her pockets out. Following a triumphant “pong” by an uncle, my bro and I heard a voice muttering “knn”, which sounded suspiciously like that of my grandma’s.
Holy shit. She just swore in one of the highest degrees of Hokkien vulgarity!

This is way cool. Parents, grandparents… mere mortals.

Two-faced

2005-07-21T11:49:00.000+08:00

When you’re residing on sucha tiny island, hardly anything you do goes unnoticed. The “friendster” that exists in Singapore is just oh so appalling. Everyone knows everyone. News spread like wildfire and before you know it, a spanking new over-embellished account is born. Ten folds more melodramatic, twenty folds more heinous.

Paparazzi. There lies a paparazzi in everyone. They watch your every move menacingly, they scavenge for your dirty linen voraciously, they rejoice with a standing ovation at your every hiccup. Pernicious souls with tongues laced with malice, the people with no qualms about seeking pleasure at another’s expense.

No smoke without fire you’d say. Vivid imagination perhaps. Friends and foes simultaneously, how tragic. Probably how the word hypocrite came about.

A friend of mine leads a wretched life. The backbiters she mistook for allies, what witches.

“I heard she goes around boasting about her sexcapades..”
Lousy school dropout turned model

“She is quite easy, I heard.”
Pre-pubescent horny unknowns

“That bitch flirts shamelessly.”
Cannot-make-it ugly law student

These tongues have to be chastised.
When someone looks upon you as a friend, keep those claws and quit that bitching.

Life's a Bitch, and then you Die

2005-07-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

I thought I would be more than happy to get outta school, and embark on my new life. Nothing more than a utopian fantasy it seems. The lingering bitter aftertaste of graduation; the aftermath of the absence of a convocation; the incessant dizzy spells at the new vocation; a calamity awaits..

Graduation is definitely overrated. If I were German, I would stay in school for life. Spend twenty years bagging all accolades possible. I could be a brilliant engineer, a benevolent doctor or a pompous, ruthless, contemptuous, scumbag lawyer. *nods vehemently*

University wasn’t exactly the most pleasing chapter of my life. It was where all innocence was stripped, all sanity eroded. The chapter’s now shut, and I’m smothered in the abyss of a new chapter. The cavity which seems all set to rob me of all my social life and sleep. No innocence, no sanity, no life, no sleep. How barren is the pauper.

Convocation is definitely overrated. A friend mentioned that it is actually something conjured for the parents, not us. Dinner was awesome, until Mrs. Lee had to ask,
“eh, when’s your convocation?’
“ummm…this Monday..” *clammy palms*
“Monday??!! How come you’re not involved?”
“ummm.. forgot to register..”
A storm ensued..

It’s uncanny how University life is both inaugurated and wrapped up in the most similar way, by the chancellor whom you’ve only heard twice. I don’t even know who the Dean of Engineering is. What more to speak of a sense of belonging. It now seems almost deliberate that I missed the ceremony..

Working in a bank is definitely overrated. Especially when you know nuts about bonds, equities, derivatives, yada yada yada. Even the phone is entwined in complexity. Hell it’s cool the phone has a touch screen, but it’s way profound for the simple engineering mind of mine.

It makes me lament and mull over the saddening fact that my life has been reduced to shambles overnight. You just know it when you have to sit on the toilet bowl for a nap, heighten your senses to watch your back, wear that perfunctory smile for the benefit of your new colleagues. Emotional Labour.

You now look forward to the finer details in life, like the 1pm lunch break, or the trip down the pantry for a free cuppa sugarless white coffee straight off the vending machine. Even a text from a friend to dislodge you momentarily from the lackluster Bloomberg terminal is heartening. The only exercise you engage in is executed with the tip of your fingers and an epiphany hits you. You now fully fathom why most working class women have bulging tummies.

This is all part of the vile conspiracy the world got us embroiled into. You slog your life away in your youth just so to ideally retire in comfort, which usually isn’t the case cos’ most of your life would have had been ravaged by all the lacerations of your younger years and when you’ve earned enough money to buy yourself that month-long vacation in Europe, your wastrel son demands a car.

Life, is but a vicious cycle.

References

2005-06-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

A friend commented that I should quote my sources. And his keen eye for spelling errors nearly prompted me to correct 'nonchalence' to 'nonchalance'. However, am not gonna do that because I'm defiant. *laugh*

The earlier entry was inspired by a Straits Times column, which clearly echoed my sentiments. All spurned women of the world unite!

The Vindicating World

2005-05-31T03:09:00.000+08:00

Magnanimity is like having attained nirvana. It is surreal, but hardly rampant amongst humans. Though I may have still have the capacity to forgive, I am barely gracious. The girl who bitched about me years ago usually stays remembered. The guy who treated me shabbily hasn't faded into seclusion. Forgiven not forgotten. Vindicating Me.

An amicable break-up usually ends off with one party giving the other his/her blessings.
"I wish you well, I just want you to be happy."
Reality check, this translates:
" I'm pretending to be nice to regain your favour, so if you leave, I pray you be damned with bad sex eternally."
Well of course there are geniunely sweet people out there who embrace the world with love. Awww...

A friend who got jilted was bitter and hung up. Didn't help at all when her ex snagged a new girl in a month. She couldn't fathom why he chose a hamburger with measely low grade beef patti over succulent top grade Kobe steak. *laugh* Okay, might be pushing it a little but the idea is somewhat captured.
"Argh, she's fat, and her boobs are way too big"
"She's got no clothes, she only has that green top which looks 2 sizes too small for her."
"Oh gosh, she doesn't tweeze her eyebrows."
"Utterly bad dress sense."
She would bump into the duo outside zouk on wednesdays. They would be in the queue, she would whizz in with a swipe of her card. She thought he looked appallingly bad; he was decked out in clothes seemingly picked out from the bargain-bin; She thought his girl looked appallingly bad; she looks like she belongs in the bargain-bin. A bargain-binnish lookin' couple.*laugh*

There exists no personal vendetta between the 2 girls prior the relationship woes. All it took was jealousy and a bargain-binnish guy to ignite a spark. The new squeeze would have had just been another girl in school if not for the union. Guilty by association.

She doesn't give them her blessings, neither does she curse. Revenge might be sweet but perhaps nonchalence is cooler.

My Happy Ending

2005-04-24T15:14:00.000+08:00

There was a new girl in school who was wide-eyed and innocent and had the most cherubic face. She was new, but so was everyone else around her. Some were excited, cos they had other little friends with them. However, she had no one and for a while, she was helpless, so very overwrought she was.

She had a little boy whom she always played with, but he wasnt in her school. They did everything together; they shared their ice-cream from the same cone, they shared their new toys, they watched cartoons from the same couch. Little girl loved cookies and cream, little boy always wanted rum and raisin.

"hmm, raisins are nice! try 'em!"

"I dont like raisins, I want cookies and cream!"

"alright, we'll have cookies and cream."

Little boy knew she wasn't happy, so he tried hard to cheer her up. He would buy her ice cream and little prezzies and tell her how pretty she looked with the pink ribbon in her hair.

"Go play with the other kids, go go.."

"No, i don't want to, I only wanna play with you"

"It'll be fun, trust me, go make new friends"

Little girl soon made many new friends, and she was happy again. They read story books together, and had amazing fun colouring their pictures. Little girl started playing more with the other kids and little boy soon felt neglected. He was upset. Little girl never felt sorrier, but it was far from salvageable.. It was tainted and little boy became angsty. Little girl didn't wanna lose her best friend and slogged to regain little boy's favour. He was a little appeased.

2 years later, little boy enrolled into the same school. Little girl was elated. She has been pining for little boy to join her at the same school. Mixed feelings there were though, for the little girl feared that he would find new friends and outst her. She became distraught and didnt want other children near him. Little boy became cross and bellowed:

"I dont wanna play with you anymore! I wanna play with my new friends!"

"but you promised to be my friend forever!"

Little girl wouldnt stop crying, little boy couldnt care less. He started telling everyone nasty things about her, he told all his friends she's evil. She was crushed.

Not long after, little boy found a new little girl to play with. Little girl went balistic, cos his loyalty towards her in the past was greatly compromised. Though crestfallen, she picked herself up and found many other new friends to play with.

Little girl is now ready to leave school. She has completed her share of homework and the teachers feel she's all set to fend for herself. Little girl will have to make new friends in the new world out there....

Did I say that I loathe you?

2005-04-09T04:59:00.000+08:00

A friend and I both concur that self-pity is an indulgence, the rawest form of gratification. Satisfaction is what I derive outta melancholy. No pre-pubescent angst, to hell with bubbly, cheery tunes. Happily melancholic. Oxy-moronic.

A friend and I both got lost in the realm of self-pity. All is grey, life a paradox. Eternal love will never be. Expectations to be met, unfinished business. An incomplete thesis.

A friend and I both seek solace in a recent tune. Who is the blower’s daughter? Beautifully captivating, raspy soulful vocals to boot. Enthralled I am, fallen I have. Tears never fail to come freely, memories intact. A frivolity, all 3 years of it. This is the 46th time Damien Rice sings. I thought of someone. The 4th year it is, today. You’ve forgotten the breeze.

A broken mug, shattered silence. An incomplete thesis.

“Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?”

Fragmented thoughts, nonsensical rambles. An incomplete thesis.

Hostelite like me

2005-04-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

It marks a month. A month living away from home, and the woes that follow..

A barely-alive senior residing in a place meant for the enthusiastic freshmen, the zealous sophomores and the jaded juniors. This is the first time, and most probably the last. It was good while it lasted. It wasn't fun to have to wrinkle your fingers in pails of laundry soaked in dynamo, mop the floor like how cinderella did. It was farewell to mommy's breakfast, mommy's lunch, mommy's dinner.

Yes, I cook, I cooked using my neighbours' pots and pans, plates and bowls. Yes, you'll need the necessary condiments, so I swiped. Oil, pepper, salt, chilli sauce, butter, full-cream milk, mayonaise. An intrinsic kleptomaniac I am. Neighbour from hell.

Neighbour from hell. Not just me it seems. Ask Sprat the mighty. The infamous lady in my cluster who allegedly plastered death threats in the toilets, on the fridge. She's there watching you when you pee, she's glares when you reach for your yoghurt. She's everywhere.

"Unsightly pee stains sighted on the toilet seats again. I know who you are. Be civilised else I'll make a complain against you."

"Real men don't use the ladies' bathroom."

"To the jerk who stole my chocolate milk: what comes around goes around..."

The same person who labelled ALL her possessions "SPRAT THE MIGHTY" *shudder*

The neighbour on my left plays indie rock at ungodly hours and wouldnt look me in the eye. She hates me.. The neighbour on my right wears a wig to school and spots a tattoo which peeks out from her hot pants. Oooohh..

Rise and shine. Shine and get coerced into rising. My room, apparently has insuperable fengshui. By 8am, birds begin their daily ritual of emitting freaky noises. The blinding rays allow to me to do what I love most. Bake and tan simultaneously in my room. Quote unquote.

I love my room. Messy. Very messy. Period. Moms know best, she saw this coming. Spick and span, my room not.

Nothing hurts like love

2005-03-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

Daniel Bedingfield's going downhill. The crooner apparently churns out awfully sappy love songs. He reigns, he takes the cake. The melody's bad, lyrics superficial. Bah.

He's got his message across though. Love does hurt when mishandled. Comme des Garcons produced a special edition of fragrance called "Love hurts" in conjunction with Valentine's day. Nice packaging with scratchy silver fabric enveloping a silver heart. How apt with the scratchy feel of it.

I've withnessed countless unions. People get drenched in the showers of sweetness, lost in the revelry. Love it when yet another couple emerges, albeit all that ear-nibbling, incessant giggling and sick affectionate terms. The sanctity of it all.. when best friend snagged his girl, he wouldnt stop swooning.
"Aww I miss my sweetie..."
"Oh shut up!" *roll eyes*
"I'm gonna call my sweetie!"
"Oei! 6 years of friendship can't match up with a new squeeze?!"
"Are you gonna have my baby?"
Silence...

It could be committing self-esteem suicide by hanging out too much with couples. Did your inadequacy result in your predicament? Did it inadvertently lead to the demise of your previous relationship? Why the hell are you still left on the shelf?! If there's an overwhelming urge to wanna smack the faces of those face-sucking, touchy-feely lovebirds, I assure you you're normal. Yes, it's certifed. Very normal. It's a psychological, but nowhere near life-threatening condition known as jealousy. Some call it envy, but I think it's a euphemism.

Being single brings less tears, but simultaneously less joy. Love is all around, but never for long. Call me a cynic.

Love is in the air

2005-02-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

Had a wager with 2 friends. Females. Both aged 22. Single. Both apparently dateless on the much celebrated Valentine's day. No wait, or rather, anticipating dates from their latest love interests. A wager that might change their lives. A wager that would ensure they'll be beaming on 14th February. Are these two gentlemen ready to be their new squeezes?

Verdict: Won one, lost the other. One, at blogging time, has probably snagged the guy and is snuggling in his arms. The other is less fortunate though i reckon it wouldnt be for long; guy in question is a dishy american-born-chinese expat who was caught up with work on v day. Bummer.

Stake: Haagen daaz ice cream no less! I'm in for a treat.

This is what singletons should do. Milk the couples, get the most outta them to soothe your lonely soul. *laugh*

Single

2005-01-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

Saturday. 15th Jan 2005.

Home alone. Just cos' you're single, you shall so stay in your crib on a Saturday night. And every other Saturdays to come.

Am I accounted for? Beats me.

Best friend #1's chilling with the girlfriend, best friend #2's singing the blues away.

"I've to fetch my girlfriend from the driving school after her lesson." So said one.

"I'm gonna be at partyworld for karaoke with my girl." So said another.

"We're gonna catch a movie later..giggles.." said one coyly.

Yes, the folks in love. Saccharine sweet they will always be.

A friend spent 3 years reading a book. She was slated to finish in less than 3, but she took her time with the last chapter. Word by word she appreciated, it was her favourite book. Finished the last chapter, crestfallen she was. The book was engaging a read. It was well-penned, it was dramatic, it was addictive. The author ran outta juices and couldn't write on. The book lavished upon her euphoria and weakened her with sorrows. Happiness too ephemeral to be savoured till twilight years, but momentous enough to leave its mark. Blows too faint to be fatal, but potent enough to hurt. The last chapter didn't make sense for a while, she seeked closure. A conclusion, a cessation which seemed all so remote. She thought the author irresponsible; the ending was abrupt, she couldn't fathom why the author wouldn't continue. Yes, ran outta juices. He was in search of new inspirations perhaps. Stale material aren't all that intriguing. He felt he wasn't headed for a Booker or Pulitzer prize with that sorta junk.

The author has embarked on his new book. My friend didn't like his style of writing no more; he doesn't need her patronage anyway, he's got a new aficionado. She's in search of better authors, or perhaps has already found. One who's deserving of her Booker prize.

Time for that jog.

Am I not pretty enough?

2004-12-29T01:01:00.000+08:00

As suggested by the best friend, I shall commence on discussing how bad some girls can look without make up. Yes, taking a dig at myself. That's the first step at being cool. Cool about looking bad at will. At least it's salvagable damage. I would say I've evolved. Here's how.. *laugh*

Some 8 years back, wholesome girls-next-door didn't used to wear make up in secondary sch. Au naturel was the way to go. Girls who did were thought of to be hooking up with some guys outta school - vanity fair.

"hiyoh, why is she wearing purple eyeshadow? Damn vain..."

"I think she has a boyfriend from either AC or RI..."

*roll eyes*

My eyebrows were inaugurally trimmed in anticipation of the Sec 4 prom. Bad attempt by the imbecile at the MAC counter who made me look like a friggin' drag queen. The family was rallied around to procure a solution for the knotty situation. Cousin sprung into action, saved the remnants and left me indebted to her.

Lil' sis had her eyebrows plucked while in lalaland. The mother decided that she would do something about the bushy brows and crept up to her bed late one night, armed with a tweezer. The mother had fun playing beautician, too much fun. Her over-zealous efforts left lil' sis with perpetually-raised brows. Some commented she looked surprised; the sympathetic said happy. I'd say ridiculous. Period. *laugh*

*sniff sniff* "Nat and Chuck they all sure laugh at me.. Jie, is it very ugly?"

"No la, it's nice... er.. it's special.." *wry smile*

Make-up became an essential for me after JC. Bought the first set of cosmestics and never looked back since. Vanity in manifestation, full blown effects exhibited upon graduation.

Lazy days, melancholic mood, make-up sworn off. The face was nude once for a project discussion in school. The project mate took a second look at me; I thought " hey it aint that bad afterall huh.."

"eh, what happened to you? You didn't wear make-up today ah? Wah, quite ugly." That pig face.

Was running late with the best friend fuming mad in his car. The perfect remedy: Meet the angry boy first, do up the face later. Shades removed, I mustered my signature megawatt smile.

"Eeeee yur! You don't wear make up quite ugly leh. Next time I'll wait, you make up first hor." That's what best friends are for. They keep you in check.

Blotchy pale face, half-brows, dark under-eye circles, chapped lips. Yes, make-up does wonders. An antidote, a facade.

My Prerogative

2004-12-21T13:35:00.000+08:00

Parents. Favouritism. Partial.
Need them, need them not?

There are times whereby I'm aware that it's inevitable for one to display signs of favouritism. The prettier, more brilliant kid usually wins favour over the other. The younger over the older. The boy over the girl. Thank god if you're the former; things are pretty much going your way. Wallow in self-pity if you're the latter; life can be quite a bitch. Lament I shall.

Younger sis was all decked out in older sis's glad rags. Head to toe, obtained without permission, instigated by the mother.

"hiyah, no need to ask la, just come home before she does and she wouldn't know..."

Older sis feels, "ask and you shall receive.."

No biggie ain't it?

That skirt. How many times must older sis tell her not to lay her finger on it? Her fave dkny skirt. It was the umpteenth time. Older sis flew into a rage.

"Why didn't you just ask?! I told you didn't I?!"

Friggin' recalcitrant.

An argument ensued. The parents didn't see the need to ask. The younger sis has every right to rummage through the older sis's wardrobe, they say. They couldn't fathom the fuss. Inmagnanimity they felt. Since when had the older sis no right over her possessions?

A shouting match followed. The father bellowed.

"You shut up!"

"You're bullied outside and you come home to bully your siblings!"

Ouch. That hurt, cos the older sis knew exactly what he was referring to. It was a low blow, almost a jibe. Tears flowed, down both the sisters' faces. The older sis lacerated by the disparaging remark, the younger startled by the aftermath of her vanity.

A 2 hour jog did the older sis good, though it didn't help that she was harassed by 2 Indian pre-pubescent boys. Bad idea to jog late at night. Bad idea to sob while jogging. Younger sis texted.

"Sorry.. I promise I wont take without asking.. pls come home.."

*smile* at least someone cares, alright, she's not that bad afterall.

Older sis was famished. Dinner.. so near yet so far. It was dinner or dignity. She chose the latter. Dinnerless but dignity intact. Sheesh, why didnt they go to bed earlier? Damn. She needed food.. she feels faint. Yes, sleep it off.

It's day 1 and counting.. not gonna speak to them till they learn to be nice. *grin*

The name game

2004-12-14T10:41:00.000+08:00

"Arnold, Arnold bo Barnold, Bonana fanna fo Farnold, Fee fy mo Marnold, Arnold!"

"Glen, Glen bo blen, bonana fanna fo flen, fee fy mo mlen, Glen!"

"Pei Pei, Pei Pei bo bei bei, bonana fanna fo fei fei, fee fy mo mei mei, Pei Pei!"

*laugh* This is kinda stupid isnt it?

An additional Alex to the phonebook prompted this latest entry. The grand total of the number of Alexes in my phonebook to date - 7
"erm, Alex, okay, Alex what?"
The surname is important in this case. Throw a stone into the crowd and it may hit an Alex anytime. Or yell "alex" down orchard road, chances of a substantial number heads turning in bewilderment are pretty high. If your name happens to be Alex, and your ancestors incidentally the Tans, you belong to the league of unoriginally named gentlemen. *laugh*

Over at the mademoiselle's, Cheryl's it. I reckon I know at least 5 with this name, though I must admit Cheryl's a pretty name. It's prevalent enough for me to safely assume that should I introduce myself as that, the chances of identifying me again are rather slim. Yes, Cheryl's my other name. Self declared for non-official purposes.
"eh you know Cheryl?"
"Cheryl what, from where?"
Blank looks...

Ahhh... the power of a unique name. My Chemistry teacher back in Sec 3 declared to the class she was gonna name her baby girl Methane. The whole class thought it cool then, but seriously, imagine the distress of the poor kid when she gets to Secondary Sch. Then there is this celeb who proudly named her son Beckham. Sheesh, I would think my dad played a real big joke on me if he named me after the last name of some poseur soccer bigwig.

Being Chinese, I believe surnames are immensely essential. Please do take a while to rehearse the sounds of the dialect name before you mark it down in your little bundle of joy's birth certificate. A friend told me he used to take a dig at a friend named "Chao Chee Wai". *laugh* And there are also the poor peeps out there called "Ji Hong".

I knew a girl whose parents named her "Pebble". I thought it endearing, sounds like that of a pup. *laugh* In future when naming your kid, choose something out of this world, something like "Hamburger". With a name like that, being a Tan doesnt matter anymore. Yes, Hamburger Tan. Love that name. *laugh*

Dream a little dream of me

2004-12-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

It's uncanny how I seem to remember most of my dreams. This probably explains the distinct sense of deja vu.

Deaths, even in dreams, are terrifying. I've woken up many a time drenched in tears, shakened and traumatised. Sweet dreams you wish were prophecies, bitter ones you hope never came true. A friend once dreamt he snogged his maid and was totally grossed out by daybreak. Visibly disturbed, he recounted the ordeal, in between sobs perhaps. *laugh*

"Damn freakin disgusting, and she's ugly lor.."

There was once I dreamt I scored 18/80 for a Physics common test back in JC. It wasn't exactly remote-I scored 23/80. Someone up there must have had been tryin to tell me something. The atrocious grades got me workin my ass a lil' harder lest I end up sweeping the streets.

4D dreams do not only knock on doors of avid gamblers. The 4 magic digits hit me once one night. "1117" was written all over my mind, I knew I had to place a bet. 4 bucks! 2 big, 2 small. A few grand in my pocket didn't seem any harm I reckoned. Sheesh, my magic numbers failed me. Oh well, but they did seem credible enough to keep me queueing with many uncles and aunties at the 4D booths, religiously for a few Saturdays. Until one day I did my math and realised how much french fries and the then-in-vogue bubble tea I could have had bought with the money. Drats, that was it. To hell with magic numbers. Hmm.. but since you've taken time off to read my gibberish, I'd grant you 4 figures. "4256". Forms part of my IC number and has a history hitting the starters at least. Good investment. Fortune favours the bold. Place a bet if you dare for a quick buck. *laugh*

"Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longin’ to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this"

Or perhaps, just dream a lil' dream of me. *Smile*

I don't wanna go, Perfect 10 is on the radio

2004-12-07T01:55:00.000+08:00

Sappy love songs, or risque R&B gibberish flood our radiowaves. When was the last time you've failed to relate to such though?

Best friend #1 and I squabble over songs. The line must be drawn clearly. His songs and my songs.
"I think ryan cabrera's true is nice. It's my song. Don't steal it."
"eh eh I think tim mcgraw's over and over suits you."
"OK it's mine then."
Best friend #1 is the reigning radio king. He raps, he sings, he knows adverts jingles; I'm not too bad either, I'm the reigning radio princess. I can't rap but I can hold a tune. Heh, with the exception of a particular chinese-indie number. Yikes.

I dread the day where I'd lock my preset station at Class 95. You know you've aged when suddenly all the songs you used to rock your booty to start appearing on Class 95 or Gold 90.5's playlist. A friend listens only to wkrz 91.3 and Class 95. On good days, I get to fiddle with the preset stations in his car. It's the beeline for Perfect 10 or Power 98. He says it's trash. *laugh*

Best friend #2 loves Chinese and Cantonese songs. She's got a saccharine sweet voice to boot. One day, her songs will migrate from 93.3 to 97.2. Ha!

Lil' sista thinks "That's what friends are for" is a track written specially for Singapore Idol. Sheesh.. and I thought I sang that in primary school. My my, I'm old.

I'm not in love, it's just a phase that I'm going through

2004-12-05T18:09:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how chilly it gets these days. My digital hydro thermometer reads 25.6 degrees celsius with 80% humidity. All these coupled with cool breeze caressing my face. Splendid. It's time to ramble.

A friend once had a crush on this particular guy and was ecstatic over an impending hot date. I wasted no time in dispensing advice which I gathered from my years of cleo and female reading.
"He would mirror your actions.."
"Twirling your hair round your finger coyly is a form of flirtation.."
None of these worked, she told me. Drats, the people at cleo and female must have had been skiving. My very own research I shall conduct.

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The 5 secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you

1. The flirting triangle

When we look at people we're not close to (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zigzag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth. Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include the the body. The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from one eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth. If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, it's very, very sexy because you can't help but think I wonder if they're imagining what it would be like to kiss me. Which is usually exactly what they are thinking, if they're looking intently at your mouth!

2. Mirroring

This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more instantly or effectively than mirroring someone's behavior. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you take a sip of your drink and do the same. They sit with their chin cupped in their hands, so do you. The idea behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are. Two no-no's with this one though: only mirror positive body language; and secondly, capture the spirit rather than imitating them like a monkey at the zoo. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.

3. The eyebrow flash

When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are equally attracted to us, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second!We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognized non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world. The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone new you are interested in. Even better, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by extending your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact.

4. Pointing

Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes. Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why. So if you've got your eye on the individual in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they'll get the hint you're interested.

5. Blinking

If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favor, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other! Now, one final word before you go rushing off to the nearest bar to practice all this. Before you go, you must understand...

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Ha! So the people at cleo and female werent exactly lying. Pinch of salt eh, could very well be a load of trash..

Let's get it started

2004-12-03T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hopped on the bandwagon of bloggers. Something which I looked upon with disdain in the past. The two best friends blog, the lil' sis blogs. *laugh* Blogging is in vogue! Er.. or maybe was in vogue.

It's the last hols of your life, so said a friend. So very true, the life of a final year student so stinks. The much dreaded final year project. The prof squints, looks you in the eye menacingly and asks:
" So.. have you read this?"
Awkward silence...
"What do you think of this?"
The sweaty palms ailment surfaces..
"OK, now tell me what you have done."
Deceased..

A blog, an online diary, a personal chronological log of thoughts. I wonder how I should begin..